Behind Doubt

I've been trying to make friends with doubt for a long time. To find a way to like it somehow, appreciate it at least so that it wouldn't defeat me quite so often. There I'd be, just before the finish line, all smug and excited by the prospect of completion - then doubt would step in whispering "who are you trying to kid??" Imagined success would sour in my mouth before I could even get a decent bite. My marching band would pack up the fanfare and go home. No triumphant unveiling, no grand reception. I would slip things quietly into the light of day and hope that no one would notice. Or leave it on the 'not good enough' pile that toppled in the corner. But we are getting on better these days. I am no longer crushed by doubt. Given a voice, doubts whisperings are less potent. In listening to its fearfulness, I'm making sure that I'm sure, and finding confidence in the checking.

erica george